i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
