guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
