dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
