**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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