Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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