Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
