They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
