Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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