tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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