Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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