I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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