id be glad to
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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