you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
