Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
