is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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