Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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