You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
