I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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