my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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