I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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