Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
