The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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