Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
