your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
