The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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