THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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