Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
