Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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