Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
