Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
