My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
