Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My pussy is not your playground.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
