Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
