Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
