wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
