just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
