You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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