i jhust puked up my retainher.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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