I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
