So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The air taste purple.
Randomize
