Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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