we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
