About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
