Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
