It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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