Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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