I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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