they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I deserve this hangover.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
