Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
In America we eat man semen.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
