Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
