And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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