We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
