i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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