You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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