I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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