PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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