I'm lost and stupid without you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
