just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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