I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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