hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
