We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
