p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
