I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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