I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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