i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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