I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
