omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
