its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
