That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
