in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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