Just mADE A PArabola og urine
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
