After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
