Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The struggles of a small town man whore
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
