You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize