She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
