Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
